


i’m using white lighters to see what’s in front of me

by thequeenofokay



Category: Quantico (TV)
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 05:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6316237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenofokay/pseuds/thequeenofokay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘We have an assignment.’ Raina drops a file on his desk. ‘It’s in Georgia.’</p>
<p>He sighs. ‘Shelby.’</p>
<p>‘Have you seen her since the New York bombing?’ </p>
<p>// four years after new york, caleb sees shelby again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i’m using white lighters to see what’s in front of me

**Author's Note:**

> \+ every time i try and write quantico fic canon immediately goes and messes it up so. this was written following 1x14 and i fully expect it to not work at all by next week. also i am Very concerned about what my son caleb is up to at the moment.
> 
> \+ also caleb/raina friendship is important to me ok. one day i'll write a "shelby and caleb go undercover" fic though.
> 
> \+ title from "r.i.p. 2 my youth" by the neighbourhood.

 ‘We have an assignment.’ Caleb looks up as Raina drops a file on his desk.

‘Hmm.’ He picks it up, putting as much disinterest as can into the action. ‘Anything fun?’

Raina’s watching him carefully. ‘I’m not sure you’d call in fun,’ she says slowly.

‘Fine,’ he says. ‘What’s the catch?’

‘Not a catch, exactly,’ she says. ‘But it’s in Georgia.’

He sighs. ‘Shelby.’

‘Have you seen her since the New York bombing?’ Raina asks.

‘No.’ It has been four years, and he’s hardly even heard her name mentioned. All he knows is that she’s been running the Georgia field office.

‘We fly down tomorrow,’ Raina says. ‘It’s an undercover operation. I’m sure they’ll tell us more when we get there.’

He’d been hoping that Augusta would have a big enough FBI office that it would be some deputy agent who briefed them.

He has no such luck.

Shelby’s waiting for them in her office, standing behind her desk. She isn’t exactly the Shelby he remembers. She’s as stunning as ever, but she looks tired and stretched thin. Then again, he’s probably not the man she remembers either. ‘Raina,’ she acknowledges as they enter. ‘Caleb.’

‘It’s good to see you,’ Raina says. Shelby almost smiles in response.

‘It’s been a while,’ Caleb agrees.

Her eyes flick to him. ‘You came back then, then,’ she says tightly.

‘No.’ He tries to keep his voice light like it’s all a big joke, like the whole thing isn’t a sore, sad mess. ‘Didn’t you get the memo?’

‘I must have missed it.’ She’s staring resolutely down at the file in front of her, hands gripping the edge of the table. ‘When I left New York no one had heard from you in _months_. ’

‘Well,’ he says, ‘I’m afraid to say I turned up. And not dead in the woods somewhere, like everyone was assuming.’

She looks up at him sharply. ‘You should have been there Caleb, it wasn’t _fair_. I needed—’ She’s breaks off, but she’s still watching him, waiting for him to say something.

He doesn’t know what she wants. Not anymore. It just feels like they’re sticking fingers in old wounds. ‘You’ve got a mission for us, right?’ he says.

She lets out a tiny sigh. He feels like he’s disappointed her. ‘Of course,’ she says. She hands across files. ‘You’ll be going undercover investigating a group of organised criminals led by Leon Wilson and his wife. I’ve running an operation to track them down for months, but I don’t have enough agents for this to ever take priority. We’re finally closing in but I’m lacking on the details I need to have them brought it, so _don’t_ screw this up.’

‘We won’t,’ Raina promises. ‘You don’t need to worry. What’s our cover?’

‘The standard married couple. We’ve acquired the house across the road from our criminals for you to observe and gain contact. You need to get the accounts book that we suspect is being kept somewhere inside the house,’ she says, and Caleb tries his best not to think anything of the fact that she’s aiming all of this at Raina.

‘Sounds good,’ Raina says. ‘I assume anything else we’ll need is in the file?’

‘Of course,’ she says. ‘I made sure everything would be absolutely ready. There’s nothing that _should_ go wrong, but—’

‘Shelby,’ Raina says gently. ‘We know what we’re doing.’

Shelby sighs, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. ‘I know. I know that,’ she says. ‘I just… shouldn’t have sent for agents from D.C.’

‘It’ll be fine,’ Raina promises. ‘Won’t it Caleb?’

He does his best to put on a nice fake smile, hoping Shelby has forgotten how to tell when it’s an act. ‘Definitely.’

 

**

 

Raina’s sitting at the kitchen window of their new home, watching across the street. ‘How do you want to play this?’ she asks.

‘Did you have something in mind?’ Caleb asks. He’s got the file Shelby gave them on the counter in front of them, going over the information again.

‘We need to get a feel for them, yes? Who they are, what they want,’ she says.

‘And where they keep their secret criminal accounts books,’ he adds.

‘Yes,’ she agrees, ignoring his sarcasm. ‘That too. So I thought we could throw a housewarming party this week.’

‘That’s not a bad idea,’ he says. ‘You think they’ll come?’

‘They don’t seem the kind of criminals to hide inside all day. They want to show off their wealth – just look at their car.’ She points across the street.

‘Housewarming party it is. Do you think Miss Wyatt has a caterer we can use?’ he asks, half-jokingly.

‘ _We_ will cook,’ Raina says, pointedly ignoring the joke again. She turns to give him one of her looks that says she’s going to force him into a serious conversation, and he does his best to appear as resentful as possible. Just because she’s the only person since New York to form any kind of emotional connection to him doesn’t mean she should have the right to make him talk about _feelings_.

‘And speaking of Miss Wyatt,’ she says, ‘what are you going to do about that?’

‘What do you mean?’ he asks, as casually as possible. ‘I’m going to follow her orders, finish off this mission and go back to D.C.’

She gives him a despairing sigh. ‘Really?’

‘What were you expecting?’

‘You have to talk to her, at least,’ Raina insists.

‘I don’t,’ he says. ‘It’s been four years. It’s not like—’ He breaks off. It’s stupid to even consider.

‘Not like what?’ Raina asks. ‘Not like she still has feelings for you?’

‘Not like she still _thinks_ about me,’ he says.

Raina shakes her head, apparently despairing in him. ‘Stop feeling so sorry for yourself! Of course she does – you heard her back in that office, she was worried sick that something might have happened to you.’

‘That didn’t mean anything,’ he says. He refuses to let himself even consider the possibility that their chance didn’t end long ago – it hurt enough the first time.

‘Fine,’ Raina says. ‘Just ignore it if you want, but _I_ think you’re making a mistake.’

‘What, and you’re always right?’

She gives him a self-satisfied little smile. ‘Yes, actually.’

 

**

 

Shelby arrives an hour into the party. ‘This is cosy,’ she says. ‘You’ve got a good turnout.’ She slips her coat off her shoulders, and Caleb does his very best not to stare or think about how similar the creamy silk dress she’s wearing is to the one she’d worn on that New Years.

‘Should you be here?’ he asks, glancing across the room to where Leon and Jessica Wilson are talking to Raina. They’d come just as she’d said they would, and brought with them a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine.

‘It’s fine,’ Shelby says. ‘I live just down the road, there’s no reason that it should be suspicious.’

‘Oh, yeah I saw your house. It’s very subtle,’ he says.

‘I’m glad you think so.’ She gives him a playful smile that he wishes didn’t make him melt a little. She swipes a champagne glass, moving further into the party. ‘How’s marriage to Raina going?’ she asks quietly. She sways gently in time to the music and moves in too close to him for him to quite think straight.

‘Why, are you jealous?’ he asks. The little joke had been automatic, but he wants to take it back the second that it’s left his mouth.

Her lips purse in a look of disapproval, and she glances up at him. ‘No.’

He smiles, because somehow even now there’s something amusing about getting on her nerves. ‘It’s fine,’ he says. ‘We’ve done it before.’

‘You’re good at playing house now, are you?’ she asks.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing,’ she says. She looks disappointed in him again, and it’s so _frustrating_ that he doesn’t understand what it means or how he’s supposed to fix it.

‘How’s being stuck in Georgia, then?’ he asks. He hates that his automatic reaction is to go on the defensive, putting up walls between them.

‘Boring,’ she says. She closes her eyes for a second and shakes her head. ‘No, I mean it’s just – I feel like I’ve done all I can do here. I’m not moving up.’

‘Then come back to D.C.,’ he says before he can stop himself.

She looks at him sharply. ‘No. I can’t.’

‘Why not?’ he asks.

‘You know why,’ she says.

‘My mother?’ he asks.

There’s a sudden sadness in her expression, but she doesn’t agree. ‘I belong here now,’ she says.

‘Not if you hate it.’

‘You should go speak to your other guests,’ she says. He knows she’s trying to avoid talking about it. ‘You’ve left Raina on her own with the Wilsons.’

‘Shelby…’ he begins. He doesn’t know why it’s so irrationally important to him that he convinces her she’s being wasted down here.

She shakes her head. ‘That was an order. Go do your job.’

 

**

 

Caleb has been left on duty watching the house across the road while Raina’s tailing Jessica Wilson when the doorbell rings.

Mrs Shane from the house next door is standing outside, her hands on her hips. ‘Is your wife home?’ she asks.

‘I…’ Caleb begins, ‘no, she’s out right now. Did you need something?’

‘ _Yes_ ,’ Mrs Shane tells him firmly, marching past him so that he’s forced to follow after her. ‘Now,’ she says, turning on him, ‘I know it’s not all my business but your wife seems like a wonderful woman.’

‘Yes,’ he agrees, lost as to where on earth this conversation is going.

‘Which makes your infidelity _all_ the more despicable.’ She gives him a withering look, like she’s trying to laser-eye him to dust.

‘My _infidelity_?’ Caleb repeats.

‘Yes,’ she says. Like he’s supposed to have a clue what she’s talking about. ‘The blond girl that was at your party last night that lives in the big house up the road.’

‘You think I’m sleeping with Shelby?’ He knows he must be staring at her like she’s grown another head, but

‘Of course,’ Mrs Shane says. ‘I’ve got eyes. You’re not exactly sly about it, and your wife is going to catch on soon if you don’t break if off.’

‘No,’ he says. ‘Hang on – I’m not sleeping with Shelby. Definitely not.’

Mrs Shane narrows her eyes at him. ‘I don’t believe you.’

‘I’m not,’ he insists. ‘Believe me, I’d – no. I’m not.’

‘I’m _never_ wrong about these things,’ Mrs Shane says. ‘Ask anyone. I knew about Heather Smith from four doors down and Dr Morris before _anyone_ else. And I’m sure Jessica Wilson is seeing someone.’

Caleb is quietly thankful that this isn’t really his house, because he’s not sure he could survive with Mrs Shane as his neighbour. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘you’re wrong this time.’

‘No. Absolutely not. There’s more to this,’ she insists.

‘I have work to do,’ Caleb says, trying to chivvy her towards the door. ‘This has been fun.’

She stands her ground. ‘I’ll go if you tell me the truth.’

Caleb sighs, running a frustrated hand through his hair. ‘Fine. You’re four years out.’

Mrs Shane gives him a triumphant grin. ‘I _knew_ it,’ she declares.

‘Four years out,’ he repeats. ‘It’s really not that impressive. Now, if you don’t mind—’ He gestures towards the door.

 

**

 

‘So,’ Raina asks, ‘how was your day?’

‘Watching the house turned up nothing new, and one of our new neighbours accused me of adultery,’ he says. ‘So I’m hoping your day went better.’

Raina gives him a confused look, and he knows he’s going to have to retell that whole story over dinner. ‘Yes,’ she says. ‘It was quite productive, actually. Jessica Wilson left her phone in her bag while she was at her yoga class, so I managed to get a copy of her calendar off it.’

‘Ooh,’ he says. ‘Nice.’

‘Here.’ She puts a copy of the calendar on the counter between them. ‘We can use this to sneak into their house when they’re out.’

‘Tomorrow?’ Caleb suggests. ‘They’ve got a dinner in the evening.’

‘Sounds perfect,’ she says. ‘I can inform Shelby. We will need to get everything ready.’

 

**

 

‘I’ve checked the bedrooms,’ Raina says. ‘There’s no sign. It must be in the study.’

From the hallway, they hear the front door open, and Raina’s eyes go wide. ‘They shouldn’t be back. What do we do?’ she hisses.

‘I’ll keep him talking. Just get into the study, find that accounts book, and call Shelby for backup,’ Caleb tells her.

‘Don’t be stupid, he could kill you!’

‘Just _go_.’ He gives her a push toward the study, and she closes the door behind her just as Leon Wilson rounds into hall.

Immediately, his gun is out and pointed at Caleb’s chest. ‘What the _hell_ are you doing in my house?’

Caleb holds his hands up in surrender, making sure to put as much irritating casualness into the movement as he can. ‘That,’ he says, ‘is a very good question.’

Wilson jerks the gun towards him. ‘ _Tell me_ what you’re doing here, or I’ll blow your brains out. Is it you that Jessica has been sleeping with?’

‘God, you organised criminals are awfully dramatic,’ Caleb complains. ‘Would you be more or less likely to shoot me if I said yes?’

‘I… Are you admitting it? You are sleeping with her?’ he spits.

Caleb sighs. ‘Sure,’ he says. ‘We’ll run with it. I’ve been here seven days, and I’m already sleeping with your wife.’

‘I _knew_ it.’ Wilson jabs the gun into Caleb’s shoulder.

And then there’s the reassuring crash as an FBI team storms through the front door. Caleb uses the distraction to pull the gun out of Wilson’s hand.

Agents appear round the corner, ordering Wilson to the ground and cuffing his wrists. Shelby strides out from among them, and he’s expecting maybe some congratulations for completing her mission. Instead, she whacks his arm.

‘Hey!’ He frowns, rubbing at it. ‘What was that for?’

‘For leaving yourself alone with a dangerous criminal,’ she says.

‘It’s my _job_ , Shelby,’ he reminds her. ‘I had it under control.’

She stares at him for a moment. ‘You really believe that, don’t you?’ she says, voice quiet. She shakes her head, turning away from him before he can respond.

 

**

 

Their debrief is short. ‘Wilson confessed under questioning,’ Shelby tells them, ‘so there will be no need for you two to come stay around for a trial. You’ve got a flight back to D.C. tonight.’ She gives them a forced smile, closing the file on her desk.

‘Excellent,’ Raina says. She stands. ‘I’m just going to give you two a minute.’ She throws Caleb a _look_ as she backs out of the office.

Shelby stares after her, clearly confused. ‘That’s really not necessary,’ she says.

‘It’s fine,’ Raina assures her. ‘I have a call to make, I’ll just be a minute.’

The door closes behind her, and a heavy silence settles over them. ‘So,’ Caleb says finally, ‘I’ll see you again in another four years, right?’

‘Caleb.’ Shelby taps her pen against her desk. ‘I read your mission reports from the time since New York. You’re being reckless. You’re putting yourself in danger.’

‘What do you care?’ he asks. He meant it to sound casual, flippant, but it ends up harsh.

‘Don’t do that,’ she says. ‘Don’t act like you think you’re disposable.’

‘What are you talking about?’ It’s harder to brush off her comments than he’d like, because she’s right. Since New York, he’s been alone.

‘You think no one cares about you. You’re this lonely boy, ruining your life like you always have done.’ She rounds the desk so that they’re both standing on the same side. ‘What about your mother? What would she do if she lost you too? Or your sister? Or Raina – she’s your partner now, isn’t she? What about—’ She breaks off, staring up at him. ‘What about me?’

He doesn’t know what to say. He just shakes his head, hoping she’ll drop it.

‘I thought, every day for _months_ after I came back to Georgia, that it would be the day someone would bring me news about you. I thought you’d have died,’ she says quietly. ‘I was terrified. And then finally – finally I found out you’d come back.’

He wants to make a quip about how much of a disappointment that must have been, but he knows it wouldn’t be right.

‘I’m terrified of having to go to your funeral one day soon, Caleb,’ she says. ‘Just like I’m terrified of going back to New York or D.C. where no one wants me.’

‘I…’ he begins. ‘I’d want you there.’

She smiles. ‘Thanks.’

‘I mean it,’ he says. ‘You’re not happy here.’

‘I made mistakes,’ she says. ‘I live with them, and that means I stay here.’

‘It’s been four years, Shelby,’ he says. ‘I think you’ve done your time. Even my mother would let you come back now.’

‘I don’t know,’ she says.

He smiles, despite it all. All their guilt and fear and hurt looks so strange laid out like this. ‘I’ll make a deal with you, then,’ he says. ‘I’ll stop punishing myself by being reckless if you stop punishing yourself by hiding down here.’

For a moment, she is silent. Then, she gives him the ghost of a kiss. He knows anything more would be wrong. ‘Deal,’ she says.

‘You said my flight was this evening, right?’ he asks. She’s still impossibly close, her hand holding onto the collar of his jacket. ‘We’ve got time for coffee.’

She nods slowly. ‘Sure,’ she says. ‘We’ve got time for coffee.’


End file.
